April 2025
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How to Not Write a Novel: The Epigraph Obsession
Or, how I found the perfect quote to open my novel, without actually writing the novel [Representative Image generated using AI] At some point in the last few years, somewhere between revising Chapter One for the fifth time and deleting Chapter Two altogether, I decided what my novel really needed was not more plot, or… Continue reading
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How to Not Write a Novel: The Author Photo Obsession
Or, how I spent three months curating a literary identity for a book that doesn’t exist [Representative Image generated using AI] You know what’s really important when writing a novel? No, not plot.Not character arcs.Not even finishing the draft. It’s the author photo. Because at some point during your fifth writing spiral and fourth abandoned… Continue reading
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How to Not Write a Novel: Structure Is a Scam
Or, how I confused a literary quote for a plot outline and never recovered [Representative Image generated using AI] When I first started writing the novel (note: it was still called The Novel back then), I did what any self-respecting, under-confident writer does: I collected quotes. Not just any quotes, writer quotes.The kind that sound like truth.The kind… Continue reading
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How to Not Write a Novel: The Short Story Spiral
Or, how I wrote 2,000 words, submitted to 18 journals, and got rejected by 17 (the 18th ghosted me) [Representative Image generated using AI] When you’re not writing your novel but still need to prove to yourself (and a few persistent relatives) that you’re a real writer, there’s one thing left to do: submit a… Continue reading
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How to Not Write a Novel: The Vibe Is the Plot
Or, how I had a playlist, a Pinterest board, and three fake book covers—but no story [Representative Image generated using AI] Let’s be clear: I never said I was writing a structured novel. I said I was writing a novel. That’s different. And by “writing,” I mean I have a Spotify playlist with 47 songs, all chosen… Continue reading
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